How to write a good intro

I have probebly probobly probably sat here in my kitchen for a couple hours searching the internet on "how to write a good intro".

But I still have no idea

Well I have some ideas, but I am too afraid...

afraid of making a fool out of myself, of offending someone, of of of of of of ofodkj ossify jfod fsck not knowing what to say 

Most of all........EMBARRASSING myself...........

I care what people think? I over think.

But it's not about ME, MYSELF, AND I.

or is it?

I AM LOST LIKE A SOPHMORES FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

I HOPE I CAN FIND CREATE MYSELF BY THE END OF THIS YEAR

THANKS FOR LISTENING BUT I'M STILL EMBARRASSED, CONFUSED, LOST, SELF CONSCIOUS AND AFRAID.

ISN'T EVERYONE?