One minute too slow

I have fifty five minutes
and I don't know if I'll finish
I shouldn't have waited last minute
But I guess your my witness
Please have forgiveness
and take me off the hit list
I'm a misfit
I have a ticket
cuz I forgot to click it
but wait a minute
whats the limit
I was 99 miles per hour
but 19 of those didn't count
could I get a discount?
my savings account reads: 0.00 cents
but despite it's contents
it makes zero sense
I'm on the fence
made of plastic wood
and childhood
I was misunderstood
but who wasn't who isn't?
now listen
I'm a christen
your forgiven
In one condition
11:55
I've got five minutes
and maybe I'll finish
before I diminish
Here
its the survival of the fittest

Twin Memories

I remember when we would pour sugar on ants and we thought we were helping them but now I know we were just burying them alive. 

I remember when we went to our first day of school and I was scared to be without you. 

I remember when we would explore the backyard and pretend to be spy's for a secret organization. The FBI was lucky to have us. 

I remember how you always wore blue and I always wore pink. I wanted to wear blue but you wouldn't let me. 

I remember when we put dried worms in a sandwich and tried to feed it to Scotty. He took a bite but missed the worms and then we got in trouble. 

I remember making a secret clubhouse for "girls only" in the attic and mom made us include Scotty. 

I remember when we would fight over the front seat and Martina would pull over if we didn't have our seatbelt on. 

I remember when we locked ourselves in our bathroom so we didn't have to go to school. The door wasn't fixed for four years. 

I remember when we made our first video together. "Hot Chocolate Rush"

I remember when we moved to Utah and our school schedules were almost identical. 

I remember being glad I am a twin. 

I remember wishing I wasn't. 

I remember staying up late to study for the same test and laughing at everything. 

I remember picking our rooms. You got the walk in closet and I got the view. 

I remember liking the same boy. We would call dibs but never talked to him. 

I remember when we learned how to ride our bikes and you ran into the only tree in the park. 

I remember when you would cry I would too. 

I remember singing the "Best of Both Worlds" by Hannah Montana at the top of our lungs on the way to school. It was like an inside joke. 

I remember the countless times we flew unaccompanied but you were always my company. 

I remember when we both got on student council and people stills say they can't tell us apart. 

I remember opening our mission calls and not being surprised that we both got called to California Spanish speaking. 

I remember thinking the longest we've been apart was three weeks and a year and a half is going to be a long time. 

Spy

If I could spy on my future I would look at the day I graduate

I would look at the day I enter the MTC 

I would look at my summer

I would look at my first day of college

I would look at my second graduation day

I would look at my wedding day

I would look at 

Never mind 

I want to take it one day at a time

My Heart is a shiny New toy

My heart is a shiny new toy

It's new and has never been b r o k e n

It has the walls of cardboard protecting it
and the twisty wires keeping it from venturing too far

There is a little sample of it on the outside of the box that you can feel, but it only gives you an idea what it feels like to love

To get that love you have to invest in it, it's not free

and love is a one way street.
when it goes both ways, it's magical

hearts are on the shelves waiting to be picked up and loved, but the ones in the back are unlucky

They collect dust and hide behind all the other hearts

Maybe their boxes are dented or scratched so the prettier boxed toys were put in the front rows

easy to reach

it's funny how kids want to invest their love to the hearts on the shelves, but are too short to reach and adults are too quick to check the price tag first.

once you find that heart you would empty your savings account for and your ready to take it to the cashier,

wether you have to push past other hearts to the back of the shelf, or find it hidden in an unexpected aisle or hide it behind other hearts so you can come back to it when your ready

you have to be ready to invest all you've got.

because after you've read the directions there is still going to be times you don't know how to take care of it, or you are frustrated with it, or it makes you sad 

but don't forget why you invested in that heart, you can't return it

Returns aren't accepted for eternity

hearts are mendable

luckily it has a lifetime warrenty warranty so if it does break
I can get it fixed

When my twin sister used my drivers license to get into an R rated movie

I know, I know 

we shouldn't have been seeing an "R" rated movie

but lets move on from that for now

Our parents were at a wedding reception, 

we were in the middle of nowhere, and Isabel and I had nothing to do

so we decided to go see a movie

Kingsman: The Secret Service

and we didn't tell our parents

After I paid for my ticket and properly showed them my drivers license,

 I continued towards the theatre

But I was stopped by my twin sister, Isabel

"What do we do? I don't have my drivers license with me!"

Annoyance filled my thoughts

I've lost track how many times she has forgotten her wallet

Then I remembered that to other people we look exactly alike,

 so I just gave her my drivers license and my debit card

Plan A

A few minutes later we were in line to enter the theater with no problems

but then we almost reached the man ripping up tickets

there was only one person in front of us when I quickly realized Isabel still had my license 

She stealthily handed it to me and I turned to hand the man my license 

he handed back my license and ticket and I felt like I just made it through airport security

but Isabel didn't

she gave me a look of panic then turned back to the man, 

"License please", he said in a grumpy voice

"Uh, I don't have mine with me."

"Sorry I can't let you in without proof that your seventeen"

Plan B

We tried showing him that we were obviously twins, but even when he said he could tell we were twins, he wouldn't let us through

Isabel and I stepped aside to let other people through as we though of a game plan

Plan C

Skyward, the golden ticket

It was simple we would show him Isabel's skyward account

 and he would see that she was clearly 17

we walked up to him with confidence

and showed him her account 

But then he just said that we could have made up that account in the last few minutes

so he still couldn't have let us in

at this point I was just annoyed and mad at myself for choosing to see this movie 

and mad at this guy for not letting us through

Plan D

Hold up the line and complain until he let us through

"Well what are we supposed to do? I already paid for our tickets."

then he replied

"How did you pay for your tickets? They shouldn't have let you buy them."

That was it. I knew we were caught

My heart was beating so hard I swear he could see it

So to make things better

 I lied

Now I could barely hear past my heart

"Well the guy we bought our tickets from saw that we were twins."

He eyed me with skepticism and told me that was illegal for them to allow that

So I played dumb

"Oh I didn't know that, sorry."

by now there was a decent line behind us

"Pleas let us through. I already paid for the tickets and I'm sorry my sister forgot her license."

I spoke in a annoyed and stressed out tone

The man was clearly warn out by us then reluctantly said,

"Ok, you can go, but you have to have your license next time."

"Thank you" 

and we finally walked past him

After we sat down the first twenty minutes I was afraid he was going to change his mind and come in to the theatre and kick us out

every time someone would walk in I would have a mini heart attack

at the end when we walked out of the movie

I walked out disappointed 

we haven't seen an "R" rated movie at the movie theaters since

We definitely learned our lesson

Don't forget your license

Don't see an R rated movie at the movie theaters

Hi, my name is

Hi

the truth is I thought I would be better at this class
I thought I would blog at least twice a week and have one of the coolest journals

but things didn't  turn out that way

I have only blogged the required amounts, my journal isn't what I wanted it to be, and I have only commented once, maybe twice

But don't take it personally

please

So I guess I have a fresh start...kinda

Hi 

My name is..raw cookie dough
My name is..sleeping on the beach
My name is..laughing easily
My name is..trying my best
My name is..always forgetting
My name is..practicing patience
My name is..hungry & thirsty
My name is..pink
My name is..photography
My name is..twin
My name is..blonde
My name is..obsessed with avocados
My name is..loves sleeping
My name is..paris
My name is..traveling the world
My name is..oxford shoes
My name is..pinterest
My name is..midi skirts
My name is..singing
My name is..fan on while I sleep
My name is..reading
My name is..journalism
My name is..archery
My name is..anthropologie candles
My name is..thinker
My name is..mormon
My name is..artist
My name is..movies
My name is..student council
My name is..lacrosse
My name is..la jolla, ca
My name is..observer
My name is..forgiving
My name is..hopeful
My name is..Latimer
My name is Serena Latimer

Theres more to me, but where do I begin
and how am I different than every other white kid that goes to lone peak?

Well.

I am a twin
I moved to Utah from California in seventh grade
I get really embarrassed when my mom brags about me
My parents are divorced, and are both remarried
I don't like water chestnuts
I don't know how to play chess
My favorite thing to do is meet new people
I am pretty shy or more of an introvert-extrovert
I love it when it rains in London
My mom can fly planes
I can drive a car
I love watermelon
I dislike cantelopes cantaloupes
I have trypophobia..search it up and you will too
I grew up watching spongebob and tom & jerry
My favorite breakfast is Swedish pancakes
I grew up drinking chocolate milk out of a sippy cup and eating buttered Hawaiian bread while watching the magic school bus on my grandmas pull out couch
I went to Gillispie for elementary school
My dream job is a National Geographic Photographer
and a mom
I will be going to BYU Provo after going on a LDS mission
and I am taking one day at a time

If you were wondering something while reading this, just ask

thanks for listening

Wins & Losses of my Life

Wins:                                                  Losses:

Born in California                              Moved to Utah
Moved to Utah                                   Messed up Family
Lots of Family                                   Money causes problems
Financially ok                                    Divorced Parents
Cool parents for the most part           Rough childhood
Good education                                  Insecure and self doubt
Nice home                                          Been on one official date
Talented at some things                     One too many disappointments
Been on one official date                  
Been to Europe
Best friends in Utah and California
To Be Continued...

but we humans like to use it for too much

fear is an essential instinct that keeps us alive

but we humans like to use it for too much (i second guessed this sentence because it doesn't make complete sence sense and I was scared of what you would think, so I'm keeping it.)

I'm scared I won't be asked to prom
I'm scared I will be called state side for my mission
I'm scared I am making the wrong choices for my future
I'm scared I will become fat
I'm scared I will turn out like my mom
I'm scared I won't turn out like my mom
I'm scared I won't be happy
I'm scared I am not being a good sister or daughter

yet none of this is really life threatening

and I'm still scared

my dad always told me when I was growing up (which i still am),
"Don't care what people think, they're just worried/thinking about themselves."

easier done than said

symbolic robotic

when i write it's like i am writting writing for myself

i don't know how to do this the "cool way"

but i am trying

that makes me human

mistake after mistake, but thats okay

im late on this post and the one before, but thats okay

im a senior right? yolo?

but i still care

it bugs the crap out of me if my grades arnt't aren't perfect

why? who knows

my brother says im crazy and homework is a waste of time

maybe

maybe not

i care what you think

but most of you won't read this anyways

i want validation

and i hate that i do

thats the hardest part about being human

sometimes i consider being a robot

but robots are boring

shutting down now...

34%

56%

87%

99%

GOODBYE!

Let's get to know each other #stolen

What is your Dream Job?
-I can't tell you cause it would give me away...

What is your biggest pet peeve?
- When people don't "clear" the microwave after their done, so I can't read the time.

Who do you look up to the most? Why?
- My grandma, because she always sees the positives in the most negative situations.

Where do you want to live when you settle down?
-California

If you could do anything RIGHT NOW what would you do?
-Go out to lunch with my best friend.

Please Comment Below, let's get to know each other

When I was a kid

When I was a kid my worst fear was school
When I was a kid my favorite thing to do was hang out with my best friends
When I was a kid I hated homework
When I was a kid my favorite color was pink 
When I was a kid my favorite store was Ambercrombie & Fitch and I didn't know how to spell it
When I was a kid spelling was my worst subject
When I was a kid my favorite breakfast was Swedish pancakes
When I was a kid I loved vanilla scented lotion
When I was a kid my favorite books were the Twilight series 
When I was a kid I loved taking pictures
When I was a kid art was my favorite subject, but I hated crayons because they always broke
When I was a kid I believed in the tooth fairy 
When I was a kid I trusted my parents with almost everything 
When I was a kid my parents knew what was best for me
When I was a kid I lied
When I was a kid I wanted to be like Olivia Lawrence
When I was a kid "I Promise" was just a way to make me go away temporarily 
When I was a kid I would swim in the pool like a mermaid
When I was a kid I didn't understand squidward
When I was a kid I would pray to God asking to give me the ability to fly
When I was a kid I was afraid of boys
When I was a kid I hated the word "no"
When I was a kid I didn't know how to ask for help
When I was a kid I was afraid of being wrong
When I was a kid I was determined to beat the boys at any competition
When I was a kid I thought I had the world all figured out

Only some things have changed

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PRETTY MUCH HOW MY BRAIN FEELS RIGHT NOW...

What I learned from being denied by BYU

I was chilling with my friends and enjoying my Friday night, when people started talking about getting into BYU Provo, which wasn't expected for another week.

My Heart was jumping out of my chest

I couldn't log into my account fast enough

My closest friend opened hers and cheered in relief and excitement as she found she was accepted
Another opened his and sighed with relief that he wasn't accepted
and another opened hers to find she was accepted, but politely declined the offer

As people started to chat about other things I finally logged in and after checking that no one was watching for my reaction

I checked my application status

DENIED, it read

and I reread it multiple times, shocked and confused

Embarrassed and Angry, tears fell on my hands quietly

My best friend turned around and shock spread across her face when she saw my tears
"How is this possible? We had almost identical applications?!" She looked at me with concern.

And that was it

I went home with the supportive thoughts and comments from my friends

And then I cried myself to sleep

When I got home my parents were asleep and I knew if I woke them up they would just want to tell me "Everything will be okay" a million times and then thrust a plan for the future at me

So I just went to bed

I woke up to them walking in my room with those same concerned faces everybody seemed to be wearing for me lately. 

After having the conversation I had expected, my dad offered that we go to kneaders for breakfast and I said yes, because what else do you do when your parents offer you a pity breakfast.

This experience seemed like there was no positive outcome
but I had a lot of time to think

BYU isn't the celestial kingdom

If you weren't "accepted" that doesn't mean your not accepted by God or anyone else around you.
It doesn't mean you were not good enough or smart enough
It doesn't mean theres no other options just as good or better.
It doesn't mean everyone else that got accepted is better than you

It just means God has a different plan for you, even if that just means you have to try try again.
It just means you might be needed somewhere else or at a different time
Or it just means you need to learn something from this experience.

Feeling extremely discouraged I just wanted to forget about BYU, but I realized
I realized I couldn't do that.

I desperately wanted to take the denied letter personally

I wanted to spit in there face and say "Whatever, your missing out on an awesome person and I didn't want to go to your stupid school anyways."

But I knew that would be lying to myself.

I couldn't just give up, even though that would be much easier.

I decided I would be Proud Of Myself and take this experience and use it to build my own character and keep trying

I decided I would be happy for my friends and celebrate with them,

Celebrate LIFE
Celebrate our Hard Work
Celebrate our Friendship
Our Futures
Our Trials
Our Accomplishments

It's all how you look at a situation
It's all how you react to a situation
Good or Bad

I Build This Wall Brick By Brick

I build this wall brick by brick

mixing my tears and happy memories with the concrete mixture

putting on lotion because you left my hands dry and cracked

wishing they never had to be surrounded by yours

frustrated because the lines will never be clean and straight

tired because building this wall is breaking me down

it's blocking the sun from my eyes and now it's getting cold

I build this wall brick by brick

making some of the bricks stick out so when I need to

I can climb over

and never look back

but I forget that I hid secret messages in the bricks

Then twenty years later I need to resolve them

So I tear this wall down

Brick by Brick

Why I hate switching rooms

Hey what would you think if we gave your younger brother your room and you took his?

Sure! No problem, I understand, it totally makes sense.

Thinks "I can't really say no."

Oh my gosh thank you! I thought we were gonna have a problem. It only makes sense right? You're not always here like he is. 

Ya. Okay.

Thinks. "No actually it doesn't make sense. I am only here for a few more months until I graduate. Can he wait until then?"

Okay well we will see you soon! Love you!

Okay. Love you too!

Two Months Later

Hey here is your new room! Do you Like it?

Thinks "This room is decent but I miss my old room."

Ya. It's great. Where is all my stuff? Like my bed frame? The only thing in here is a mattress and some white sheets...

Oh well we thought we would divide your stuff among the other kids. They needed some new furniture.

Okay..."forgets about it and decides to deal with it later"

One Day Later

Hey is it okay if we switch you to your youngest sisters room?

Thinks "I should have seen this coming."

Why?

Well your other brother wants your room. And your not always here so it only makes sense right?

Sure. Okay. I don't mind.

"Wants to argue, but knows that will just dig me deeper."

"Moves into room with NO windows, after living in a room with a balcony for ten years"

" Cries on the inside because I feel like I just got kicked to the bottom of the barrel, tries to understand, but just cries more on the inside."

"Doesn't know what's right or wrong, but knows her opinion doesn't change anything"

The Rose and The Thorn

Everyone wants to be you

Everyone wants to be friends with you

Your beautiful, rich, and almost famous

but I think you almost have too many thorns

When I'm with you I get a taste of what it is like to be a rose

but then I get stabbed and it kinda stings a lot

But i love you

You're a part of my life and you always will be

But you're kinda hard to trust

I love you but I am nervous around you

If I go too deep into your rose bush I end up a little shredded, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually...

Once the cuts heal It's easy to forget then forgive

But the truth is everyone sees my scars even if I try to ignore them

I don't know what is right or what is wrong anymore, all I know is

i love you

Hats and Shoes

I've worn many Hats but only some Shoes
I've worn the brave hat
                                     the depressed hat
                                                                  the "I'm okay" hat
                                                                                              
the "RICH" hat the "POOR" hat
                 Not by money, but by memories
                    

 i haven't walked in many shoes 

ONLY A FEW ARE WARN OUT

I have a closet full of shoes waiting to be tried on...

new shoes are uncomfortable

some are a new trend i'm not sure if i like or not

how will I know if i like them if i don't wear them for a day or two or three

I am me...and a lot of other things

I am a secret super star

I am an amazing dancer

I am addicted to root beer

I am a hoptorgeahrepr

I am a frequent flyer

I am confused

I am funny

I am proud

I am an artist

I am okay

I am a people person

I am an introvert extrovert

I am a Child of God

I am never alone

I'm only one call away

ooooooOOOONNNNNEEEEeeee CAAAALL AAAWAY!

I am a Singer

I am quiet

I am LOUD

I am Awesome! no your not dude don't lie. I'm Awesome!

I am here

I am there

I am young

I am Old

I am riding life's rollercoaster

I am me...and a lot of other things

How to write a good intro

I have probebly probobly probably sat here in my kitchen for a couple hours searching the internet on "how to write a good intro".

But I still have no idea

Well I have some ideas, but I am too afraid...

afraid of making a fool out of myself, of offending someone, of of of of of of ofodkj ossify jfod fsck not knowing what to say 

Most of all........EMBARRASSING myself...........

I care what people think? I over think.

But it's not about ME, MYSELF, AND I.

or is it?

I AM LOST LIKE A SOPHMORES FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

I HOPE I CAN FIND CREATE MYSELF BY THE END OF THIS YEAR

THANKS FOR LISTENING BUT I'M STILL EMBARRASSED, CONFUSED, LOST, SELF CONSCIOUS AND AFRAID.

ISN'T EVERYONE?